Ben + Calum Sort Your Shit Out

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Dear B&C,
As I sit, writing this letter, I am in an elevator. And my God it’s depressing. Seriously like really, really depressing. The music is depressing, the people are depressing, and the tone is depressing, hell even the walls are depressing. Do you think there is anything more depressing than an elevator?  Signed, Paul

Dear Paul.
Children Busking!
It’s horrible, you see them and you feel sad automatically. Next time you see one you will know what I mean, you’ll have no choice but to give them money.  Also:

• A clown standing in the rain waiting for a bus that hasn’t shown up.
• Jenny Shipley (whatever happened to her?).
• Any news article that uses the word Britney.
• A guy who works in a supermarket full time trying to prove to you that he made the right choice.
• An old person shopping for fruit.

Hope this answers your question.
Thanks for your letter, Ben & Calum

If you guys got a problem, why not share it with the rest of AUT. We can all laugh together. It's the best kind of therapy, plus it's free. Email your problem to This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it using the subject "sort".

Dear B&C
I can't believe that Joey is the murderer on Shortland Street.
Signed
Dismayed.

Dear Dismayed,
First off that's not a question. That's a statement; and not a very good one for that matter. See Joey is on Friends not Shortland Street, and you are gravely confused. That's okay though, having a ridiculous name can do that to people. Did your mother just name you the feeling she had at birth?
    If you're referring to the ‘Shortland Street Strangler'. I found the ending to that storyline ridiculous. After months of speculation it turns out it's the nervous guy who is unlucky in love. The same guy who got rejected by every girl on the street after they all screwed around with his head; am I meant to fear this guy? We don't see evil. We seem him as us!
    Every time he got back at a girl who messed around with him, we both did high fives.  It's about time someone did something about females like that. I haven't watched Shortland Street in a while but I'm pretty sure that the Strangler is now head doctor and all the females give him the love he deserves.
    The way it should be.
Thanks for your letter
Ben and Calum 

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