Jeditorial #20

I totally didn’t realise it until someone pointed it out to me a while back and I thought it would be really cool to do a 10^th anniversary issue in the 10^th issue of debate, but since we were already on issue 18 at the time that made it kind of hard. I did toy with the idea of doing a remake like Van Sant’s Psycho, except there would actually be a point to it. (Side note: did you know they are remaking The Birds? Seriously? All you young filmmakers out there, if you want to do a remake, pick a film you can actually make better, not a flawless classic piece of horror. Example: Ocean’s 11.)

But then I realised that would just confuse people who would think they had travelled back in time and their homemade time machines have worked. (Another side note coupled with a stolen joke: I have a time machine at home. It only goes forward and in real time. Actually it’s just a box with “time machine” written on the side of it. Check out Demetri Martin’s stand-up now!)

So instead I just decided to use issue 20 for our 10^th birthday spectacular. 20 kinda looks like a 10 if you squint. Well, ok it’s not really a “spectacular”, but there are a few looks back over the last 10 years of stuff. It turns out a lot of it has happened. Who knew?

I’m glad I was here for the 10^th birthday as it means I will be out of here well before debate becomes a sarcastic, melodramatic teenager who starts experimenting with substances and discovering its “fun zone”. Good luck, successor, whoever you may be.

I haven’t decided whether or not I will be returning to the Chief Head Senior Boss-man Editor’s desk next year. There are just too many things that I need to think about before I make this decision. On the one hand I have freedom to write about whatever I want, get free shit sent to me for no reason, can yell at people anytime I want, and there’s never any questions asked where I was all last week. It’s a pretty sweet gig.

But alas it’s not all jellybean raindrops and fairy unicorn pies, I still have to share an office with certain miscreants that smell like a Wookie sauna, get paid in Vietnamese Dong, and have to write these stupid things each week. So like all things in my life, I am putting my decision off right until the last minute. If I am still here next year it’s totally for the money. I’ll be like Marlon Brando in Superman only skinnier. (At least so I hope. It could be an interesting summer if I’m not.)

Sorry if you were hoping to overthrow my tyrannical reign; I guess your only option now lies in a bloody coup. You can try if you want but I warn you, I play dirty.

Anyway, something exciting happened to me over the holiday break: I moved out of home! I know that may not exactly be a big deal to most of you who moved out when you were 18 and haven’t looked back, but I am 24 and a total recluse, so it kind of is a big deal. I now live in an apartment complex with a petanque court. True story: my mum packed my stuff up 3 weeks before I actually moved out.

The theme for this week’s ramble was change and was brought to you by the letters “W” and “D”, and the number “40”.

 Oh yeah, to those of you who thought I migrated to Poland, I remind you of my first ever Jeditorial in which I seem to recall saying something along the lines of “you can never believe a single thing I say. Ever.” Suckers. However I am actually married to Natty; that one was true.