Being fashionably bored

Now, I know that we’ve all got the dreaded examies looming on the horizon,
and with that in mind, I’d like to share with you a few of my favourite fashion-related ways to kill time when you really should be doing something much more productive. (Insert
your own snappy summing-up statement here; I’m off for a main course of crying in the shower, with a side of snivelling “Why me,
God, why me?!”)

Cross-dressing
Grab someone of the opposite sex. Gain their trust, and entice them to strip. Then, while they’re at their most vulnerable (ie. butt naked), steal their clothes, put them on, and force them to wear yours. Bonus points if you can get them to visit somewhere totally inappropriate, such as the Takapuna Markets or a children’s playground, whilst wearing your clothes. (This is especially fun with National-voting manly men who are fixated on keeping gender roles as rigid as a rigid thing. In the words of the Dilmah guy, do try eet.)

Polyvore.com
“Polyvore lets you mix and match images from anywhere on the web, to create outfits, interior designs, or any kind of collage,” says the website blurb, which I am too congested to even bother trying to paraphrase. In my own words: Polyvore is fucking awesome (sorry, Dad). You can choose from hundreds of thousands of clothes, shoes and accessories to create different outfits – good if you’re trying to decide whether you should buy a particular item, or whether you just want to imagine yourself being able to afford a pair of Christian Louboutins. Mmm, wealth. Nom nom nom.

Watching and re-watching ANTM on YouTube
My number one favourite thing to do when there are deadlines lurking. Owing to a couple of amazing people (if I ever meet them, I will buy them flowers), you can find every single episode of America’s Next Top Model, in order, clearly labelled, in the coffers of YouTube. These wondrous creatures have also, if you are so inclined, uploaded Britain’s, Australia’s, Canada’s and even Sims’ Next Top Model for your viewing pleasure, but I prefer to stick with ye olde classic-e ANTM. Where else but from Miss Tyra Banks can you get glorious soundbytes such as “You were shaking your chest at Mr. Jay... I saw them go up and down and around and around!” Comedic gold.

Donate!
I know you’re probably not in the mood to hear me proselytising, but it’s my article and I’ll be serious if I want to. I’ll keep it short and snappy for you: Dress for Success is a pretty amazing organisation. They donate clothes to women entering the workforce who wouldn’t otherwise be able to afford them. Ladies, I’m just about willing to bet money that you have clothes lying around that don’t fit or that you keep saying you’ll wear, but never do. You could consider donating said clothes to Dress for Success (go to dressforsuccess.org for more details). If you do, you will be helping a woman to take charge of her life. That’s pretty cool. Far cooler than spending half an hour playing another six games of Spider Solitaire.

Email me at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it any burning fashion questions or comments that you have, and then you will get your name mentioned in debate and your parents will finally love you. (Well, maybe. But I wouldn’t count on it.) I will also reply with some witty repartee, and then you will probably spend a good few hours laughing, and then you will have put off studying for another day.

P.S. Owing to said Emo Flu™, this might just be the worst article I’ve ever written for debate. I apologise. Actually, no – on second thoughts, I don’t. I don’t see any of you chopping vegetables into cubes to make me a delicious hot soup, or cleaning up the thousands of snot-laden tissues that currently carpet my room. If you’re not willing to indulge in a little annaloren appreciation, I’m not going to feel any guilt about writing a sub-par article. So nyah. And also, nyah.