Well, men according
to the author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. I picked up
this book while babysitting one slow afternoon and believe it or not
the hype surrounding this book many a year ago might have been right
on the money. Unlike other relationship self-help books which spout a
lot of psycho-babble bullshit, Men are from Mars is straight to the
point and unapologetic- men are this way, woman are this way and
there's nothing you can do about it except learn to live with each
other- esque.
Despite the fact I
only made it half way through the book before becoming, oh okay, a
little bored, I still learned some interesting things that kinda made
me go, "Ohhh so ALL men are like this? It's not just him? I'm
not going crazy? I don't need to trade him in?"
Lesson One:
Martians like to go into their caves for unspecified amounts of time.
Hmm yes, the book cleverly uses the terms Martians and Venusians
(guess who they're supposed to be?). Apparently, whereas Venusians
are very into talking about their problems, Martians like to stow
away in their caves until they think it's safe to come out.
Unfortunately, there's no changing the Martian's natural
inclination toward going into the cave. However, if you play your
cards right you can figure out how to shorten the duration of
Martian-cave time. Do this by being a non-clingy Venusian who
encourages and supports Martian-cave time.
Lesson Two: Martians
like to put on their Mr Fix It hats. Yup, another part of the
Martian's inherent nature that Venusians have no hope of changing
is their need to problem solve. While a Venusian talks about her
problems to bridge emotional connections and to feel better about
herself, maybe even get a little cuddle, Martians set about trying to
fix the problem. Does this conversation sound familiar? Venusian:
I've had such a crap day; I've got so much to do. Martian: Well
why don't you take a day off? Venusian: I can't take a day off,
it's uni! Martian: err...well I don't know what to say then.
Frustrating right? Martians think their being caring by offering
advice and feel rejected when women don't appreciate the Mr. Fix It
mode. Lesson learned? Next time you're feeling like crap, ask for a
hug instead!
Lesson Three: Martians
don't take advice kindly. On the flipside, whereas Martians just
love to put on their Mr. Fix It hat and solve your problems, if you
try do it to them they'll most likely retreat into their cave.
Offering advice or solutions to a Martian makes them feel
emasculated. The Martian will think that you think he's too stupid
to fix his own problems. I guess that's why men won't admit when
they're lost?
All in all, Men are
from Mars doesn't really shed any new light on things we didn't
already know about men- but at least now we know it's all men who
behave this way and not just our own boyfriends.
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