-
Foo Fighters.
Dave Grohl has pedigree, the Foo
Fighters have Nirvana DNA in their veins, but since when has the art
of music appreciation had anything in common with dog breeding? Not
only do the Foos get vicarious cool points by association, they've
never done anything overly offensive. They've never made a really
bad album, just a bunch of inoffensively not bad ones. And Dave Grohl
is a nice guy, you feel mean saying anything bad about him, and he
has a sense of humour - that shit-eating grin, and that twinkle in
the eye that lets him get away with making unapologetic cock-rock.
But the music's just average - they're the musical safe option.
4. Elemeno P.
Maybe these guys don't belong here,
because I've never come across anyone who likes them, just people
who can't be bothered disliking them. And yet someone must love
them ‘cos they're everywhere. Actually there is someone who likes
them: the NZ Herald's music reviewer Scott Kara, maybe he's
responsible for their entire career. Now here at debate we're
encouraged to rip on the Herald at every opportunity, but I
think that the middle-aged & middle class need their alarmism and
hack journalism just like the rest of us, but this I can't stand
for. They're a bunch of under-achievers, and I don't see them
winning a high school rock quest in a just world.
-
ANYTHING that you think is "so
bad it's good".
I'm reminded of this phenomenon by
C4's ‘80s weekend, now "so bad it's good" isn't exactly a
myth, but it is much rarer than you think. Most things that you think
are S.B.I.G are either: just bad (in which case you're delusional),
or pretty good, just uncool (in which case you're a snob for not
just admitting you like them for what they are). The reason for this
is that the actual "worst band ever" has probably been mercifully
forgotten, and you probably wouldn't want to hear them. I wouldn't
mind this so much if it wasn't so pervasive that it means that
Dexy's Midnight Runners, George Michael, and Boy George were above
David Bowie, the Smiths, Talking Heads, AND Joy division in the 100
greatest songs of the ‘80s countdown.
Another random thought about the ‘80s
weekend: Queen were a big band in the ‘80s, so why did they only
play their ‘70s songs, or their one ‘90s song Radio Gaga?
-
The Kooks.
"They're named after a David Bowie
song, so they must be good" aaahhh, where would bad bands be
without lazy reductivism (maybe that's a little unfair, everyone
relies on being able to manufacture an image, but still some examples
are particularly galling). When I was a teenager everyone loved the
Strokes I think their first album was being given out in front of
high schools all over the country, then we found out they were fakes
(nothing wrong with liking fakes, but it's embarrassing when you
don't recognise them). Now people are taking the fake Strokes
seriously! Actually "fake Strokes" doesn't do them justice,
more like the "paint-by-numbers Strokes" to paraphrase one great
review: "Don't care for their ska-tilting, strummy acoustic guitars
and benign rockers? Half a dozen interchangeable ensembles will be
along shortly". NME has a lot to answer for.
-
Muse.
Thom Yorke was once asked about all the
bands that were imitating Radiohead; he said that they should put
their money where their mouth was, and write their own Paranoid
Android. Coldplay answered the call, and there's a song on
their new album called Crap Paranoid Android. So far Muse
hasn't been as ambitious (they do have a song called Crap High
and Dry though). Their Radiohead fixation annoys me, why do they
have to pretend Matt Bellamy has a brain, if he put on some weight to
go with all that bombast, they could be the new Meatloaf. Alas they
feel the need to overburden cock-rock with clumsy intellectual
preening. ...And that "greatest live band in the world thing"? Is
whoever came up with that pre-verbal?
Honourable mention: the Most Wanted
Song.
This is a song that was written,
recorded, and PERFORMED by scientists after interviewing thousands of
people, about what they like to hear in songs. I have to assume that
it's loved because scientists made it that way, but it's also
terrible; but it IS one of those rare "so bad it's good"
things, it always cheers me up. You can hear it here:
http://blog.wired.com/music/files/KomarMelamid_The-Most-Wanted-Song.mp3
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