Queen Street
Question: What’s long, hard and ugly?
Clue: Pretty much unavoidable in the city and the source of much heart-ache for most, found at least once in one’s life...
Answer: Queen St.
What a horrible, horrible landmark of Auckland. I say just get rid of it. There are so many traumas you need to deal with just to get from A to B that it has officially become one of my most hated places in the world.
If you’re not getting harassed by homeless for spare change, you’re getting harassed by the crazy’s trying to sign you up to some God-like affiliation or else you’re getting harassed by some charitable organisation that you should/could support.
They’re crafty little buggers those guys... they’re becoming very
inventive in their ways and means of trying to (1) get your attention,
(2) get you to stop what you are doing and (3) get you to sign up and
hand over your precious knash. I had a very tricky Red Cross guy
literally jump in front of me and tell me how primo my sunnies were.
Pleased with myself I smiled and told them where I got them and BAM! He
hit me with the “we represent a lot of families who can’t even afford
to wear sunnies, and they would really appreciate a donation of
sorts...” line. Bastard. I thought he was just being nice.
Queen St screams blue murder when you’re late for whatever, in a
mad rush and it seems like every person is walking super slow. You try
to overtake them but they walk in front of you with some crazy
spidy-sense, knowing that you’re trying to get past. It’s like they do
it just to piss you off, thus making you later and angrier. Badman and
I employ the indication technique to overcome the slow-mos. We signal
(for at least three seconds), then move in on the overtaking and make
the ticking clicking noise so the other drivers, ahem, walkers know
what’s up. Okay, so it’s just me that does the noise...
Then there’s the careless and sometimes intentional smoker who
blows smoke straight into your path line, or worse; face. But I’d
prefer smoke over spit any day.
And then there’s the blatant red-light runners. Just when you thought it was safe to quickly race across the road...
The only semi-good/interesting/stalkery thing about the big
Q is the people watching. If you’re waiting for a bus, having a munch
or just taking a seat and chillaxing, there’s always people to
stare at. It gets a bit awkward and weird when you both make eye contact though...
And it’s sad to note that almost everyone looks pissed off, upset,
completely zoned out or just plain out of it. I rarely see anyone
looking happy. And on the odd occasion where people are happy, they’re
usually super loud, obnoxious people who make it their mission to let
everybody know what their source of enjoyment is. Like I really care
that you got your oh-so-cool whatever or that so-and-so, like, totally
hit on you, Oh My GAWD!!! Shut up all ready.
Never once have I strolled down and thought, my... what a lovely
street. It’s filthy and gross and should be avoided at all costs.
Humph. That’s right.
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