Now I don't claim to be the brightest
crayon in the box, but this takes the cake. I stupidly decided to
sign up while studying for exams, as a little side
procrastinator/reward for studying so hard. I tallied up how many
hours I actually spent studying (hmmm about 7) and how many I had
wasted on FB (about two weeks worth of full-on exam prep), and how
the fuck I passed my exams I just don't know.
Instantly I became obsessed. I watched
in vain as my friends started piling up. I sniggered at all the
things I was through the insane amount of quizzes; Belle from Beauty
and the Beast, Hermione from Harry Potter, a Mixed Fruity Cocktail
and Pot as drink and drug of choice (surprised? I'm not). Turns out
my name is too too sexy on the sexy name calculator and my stripper
name is Roxie Heavenshock. For just a bit of icing on the cake, thus
far I have saved 7 square feet of rainforests.
But these little beauties are nothing
in comparison to the sheer amount of people that have come out of the
woodwork. It is actually fucked... crazies from high school, friends
who I hadn't seen in 10 years from primary school, stalker
ex-boyfriends and just plain randoms. To start I accepted most friend
requests, but then I realised a lot of my "friends" I hadn't
seen or spoken to in years or I that I just wasn't actually really
friends with them, more like acquaintances. So out came my Facebitch
and a culling slaughter ensued. Those who I ACTUALLY didn't like,
gone burger. Friends of the ex's, gone burger. People who I just
didn't want to stay in contact with, gone burger.
With the power (more accurately,
ability) to see my friend's friends, their antics posted through
videos and pictures and wall posts lead to slight twinge of privacy
invasion. But isn't that what it's all about? It is technically
classed as a social tool, but it's more like a stalker tool. Thus
Stalkerbook was born. Nah, definitely more along the lines of
Crackbook, because it's just that fucking addictive. I have
developed a Crackbook habit and need a hit daily. But truth be known,
it's more of a binge habit and I'm shooting up at all hours
during the day and night. I'll go to a friend's house and wonder
if they would mind if I checked my precious Face/Stalker/Crackbook. I
don't have a problem admitting to it. I know there are other
sufferers out there. I'm a full blown addict who needs to go to
Facebook rehab and detox. But not before I poke or superpoke someone.
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