Sport

New Zealand's entry in this year's Olympic Games has been cancelled, International Olympic Committee (IOC) President Jacques Rogge announced this morning.
      The termination of New Zealand's Olympic contract comes after a damning investigation was presented by the American Institute of International Studies (AIIS) in late June.
      The investigation entitled ‘Square Kilometres - Not Just a Number', focuses on the inability of countries with small surface area to conduct themselves properly at international events.
     AIIS head research analyst Gordon Morveck believes the investigation will secure ‘freedom and liberty' for all.

If you think the headline is outdated, you’re wrong. It’s as relevant today as it was nine months ago.

You see, despite our pretentions about finally accepting defeat and patting ourselves on the back for handling it maturely (yeah right), there is still a minority who just won’t let it go.
    But to be fair, it wasn’t exactly our premature exit that has caused the resentment – it was because coach Graham Henry was retained and not replaced by the Crusader’s Robbie Deans (who went on to coach the Wallabies).
    Few would have predicted the indignant outrage which followed after the news of Henry’s reappointment. Indeed, even the NZRU professed surprise.

Rugby! Isn’t it great? I’ll tell you something for nothing, it used to be. Back in the day when people cared. I can’t proclaim to be as rugby–astute as Tony Johnson but it seems to me that no one really gives a crap about rugby. It doesn’t help when all the players are leaving and now the All Blacks are newer than a 3rd former’s pubes, Anthony Boric anyone? The Super 14 was about as amusing as digging a hole, and all it really did was give attention to the countless players that ditched our fair shores for more fiscally advantageous opportunities.

Stuff that comes out of New Zealand is (as a general rule) not fast. Our broadband is as slow as a wet sheep and our native birds are about as much as of a speed risk as Jay Leno in a wheelbarrow race. I’m not sure if we’re supposed to sit down and accept our sluggish destiny, but if we are then Scott Dixon missed the memo.
    Last Monday, Dixon reached the pinnacle of American motorsport success when he became the first New Zealander ever to win the Indianapolis 500 IndyCar race. The former Manurewa-boy was anything but slow as he finished the race averaging 231km/h after breaching 360km/h in qualifying.