There's no doubt about it, 2008 had
huge potential to be a massive year for sports. There have been a few
events that are worth a mention and a few that we'd rather forget.
Being as the only factor in sport is winning (we all know it) the
final sports wrap-up for this year will not be short of competition.
This, ladies and gents, is the debate Sporting SmackDown 2008.
The All Blacks vs. The Silver Ferns
The All Blacks have enjoyed outstanding
success this season with wins in the Tri-Nations and Bledisloe Cup,
despite the absence of Robbie Deans (the piker). On top of that, they
put a fair few points on England (who are supposed to be world
champs) this winter, as well as scoring some pretty amazing tries
against Ireland. The Silver Ferns have really impressed in the recent
internationals against England and Aussie, with a few massive wins
over the Poms and a couple of thrillers against the Ockers. It's
been great netball and, on the uniform front, tight black one-pieces
are, apparently, back in fashion. Decent. The All Blacks lost to
both the Saffie's and Australia, including a 2 point loss to the
Africans at Carisbrook. Disappointing. On top of that, they made
their uniform even tighter than last year (thought that'd be
impossible) and lost Daniel Carter for the Super 14. I know that has
nothing to do with the All Blacks but...whatever. The Silver Ferns
have lost, as a percentage, more than the All Blacks, plus they lost
to England who are, for all intents and purposes, absolutely shit.
All Blacks win.
Football vs. any kind of motorsport
This is a tough one because the
majority of people would rather watch neither of these sports.
Football is a pretty typical season, with a lot going on but none of
it relevant to us Kiwi's. On the one front that is relevant, the
Phoenix are the worst team in the A-League by a mile, despite their
cool uniform and foreign line-up. On the international front, we're
100% for this season, after playing New Caledonia twice. That's the
football equivalent of killing cattle with a grenade. Motorsport has,
unsurprisingly, been boring. The only thing worth watching was the
Formula 1, where young gun Louis Hamilton is making every other male
on the planet jealous, and they raced at night time which was choice.
The V8's have been a non-event, despite the Kiwi 2nd
place at Bathurst. The winner here comes down to watchability (a real
word). Football is ridiculously boring, but only an hour and a half
long, motorsport is equally boring, but will often go for a full day.
The winner is motorsport because of the tiny possibility that you
might see a person running around on fire.
Cricket in general vs. watching the
lawn grow
This is also a tough one. Cricket has
been slow this year, apart from the IPL which tried to do the
impossible - make cricket appealing to everyone. About nine hundred
billion Indians turned up live to watch the event with the Rajasthan
Royals coming out victorious, and the Kiwi boys did an average job
all round. Cricket is still mind numbing though. Watching the lawn
grow does, believe it or not, have its down sides. There is the
possibility of being stung by a bee, plus sometimes you can catch the
reflection off the sun from a house window and be temporarily (or
permanently) blinded. The Black Caps have started off shaky and,
funnily enough, lost to Bangladesh in a one dayer. Awful. For that
reason, and its ridiculous unwatchability, watching the lawn grow is
a better option than watching cricket.
League vs. every other sport (that
hasn't been mentioned)
League this season has been a big hit.
The Warriors started off really shit, just like usual, except this
time their shittiness didn't continue right the way through the
season. After a string of wins late in the season, the boys got their
act together and made the top 8. After a decent showing they lost in
their semi to the victory-bound Sea-Eagles. Still, decent effort. The
Kiwi's season hasn't really got underway yet, but when it does it
should be good with the World Cup in action. Golf has been nothing,
Michael Campbell has been rubbish, Mark Brown showed promise but fell
off the radar. Amateur Danny Lee will hit the big time next year
probably, but he has definitely been the standout golfer for 2008.
Tennis...ummm. Marina Erakovich has done well ,but failed to really
break into world fame status (which we expect from all our athletes).
Nothing else is really relevant EXCEPT:
The Olympics vs. Everything
In case you forgot, the Olympics were
this year with some truly amazing gold-medal performances from
Valerie Vili, the Evers-Swindell twins and Tom Ashley. There were
other wins and other failures, but at the end of the day, the
Olympics win the 2008 Sports SmackDown, just for its sheer size, its
length and its income. Truly a massive event with some massive events
and performances. Game, set, match.
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