3 ways to scare the shit out of a certain magazine editor:

    On the one hand it was free and I have a rule of never saying no to free stuff, on the other hand it’s something that I will maybe never have the chance to do again, and on my gross deformed third hand, I am pretty darn scared of heights. Well, not heights so much as the chance of falling to a watery grave.So anyway, not wanting to be the chicken of the office, on one lazy Friday the trio of us made our way to the base of the bridge where the office is, signed all those “if we die it is not the company’s fault” forms, and slipped into our classy Ghostbuster-esque jumpsuits. Our diminutive and energetic guide Tash led us plus three other climbers through the gate and our adventure began.
    The first part of the tour was walking underneath the clip-ons with nothing below us but the water. It’s about this time that I started having visions of the news reports that would air that night after the collapse that led to the deaths of a tour group in the wrong place at the wrong time. The people driving didn’t seem to get much airtime though.
    It’s quite a sight as you walk underneath this great feat of engineering. The view was exactly like that part in Half-Life 2 when Gordon Freeman has to make his way under the bridge to turn off the power so his buggy can get through the force-fields, only with the notable absence of barnacles and Combine copters, but there was enough going through my head to worry about being attacked by a headcrab. I did find it hard to look at the view, however, as my eyes were firmly fixed on where my next step was going. Just breathe, was my mantra.
    After looking at the water below my boots for so long I started to feel a bit… uneasy, but once we stopped for a few minutes I was able to pull it back and continue to remind myself that even if I did fall, it wasn’t high enough yet to do any damage. It would just be like a really cool story to tell. But falling was pretty much unfeasible, in fact I would say unless you unclipped yourself (impossible by the way) and climbed over the railing, the guide was right in saying that the most dangerous part of the climb is crossing the road to get to the bridge at the start.
    Once we reached a checkpoint, we stopped for some history of the bridge’s construction (very fascinating but no time for it now, although you may be keen to know there is a man set in the concrete somewhere making the bridge the largest tombstone in New Zealand) and we got to watch some nutters jump from the little bubble that sits underneath the middle of the arch; one even got submerged up to his ankles the crazy mo-fo. After a bit or persuasion, Jan was talked into becoming one of those nutters while me and Dave were content on the somewhat solid ground as we watched him leap 40m straight down. My belly felt void just from watching.
    I can’t speak for Jan, but it really did look like one heck of a thrill and maybe one day in the future I will have to psych myself up to it. But then again, I may not.
    Anyway, moving on we climbed up a bit and into the clip-on part which moves up and down with the traffic, up to 1 meter apparently. By this stage I had gathered a bit of composure and although the movement was not really my cup of liquorice tea, it was never so bad that my legs resembled pasty flavoured jelly.
    Finally it was time to go topside for the moneyshot. As we climbed some awkward steps the distinct sound of cars buzzing past my ears was not exactly pleasant, but like everything else that happened on the day, it was a distinctly new and fascinating experience.
    We made our way to the apex of the incredible structure and the view was wow. With a 360 degree view including the city, West Auckland, the North Shore, the harbour, and a whole bunch of other places I don’t care enough about to learn the names of, it was sure as hell one heck of a reward.
    My biggest fear before going on the climb was that the top of the bridge would sway and bounce with the traffic and wind, but it was pretty solid, much to my joy. After all my anxiety, I was pretty much as cool as Gordon Freeman the entire time. Actually the things that I ended up being more concerned about were my distaste for the public railings I had to touch and going down steep stairs, two things I hate doing separately, let alone at the same time.
After a time spent devouring the view with a side dish of awe, we began to make out way back to basecamp to reminisce and claim our certificates. Yey.

So what didn’t I like about the trip?
Pretty much just the one complaint, but I can totally understand their reasoning. You weren’t allowed to take any loose objects with you in case they fell onto the traffic below, which included cameras. However, the guide takes a couple of snaps that you can buy to take home, but I would have easily taken a good 20 or so more for remembrance when I’m senile(r).
    Other than that, it was 1.5 hours of a workday well spent. It was neither exhausting, nor terrifying, but always fascinating and unique.